50 Lessons I Learned in 50 Years

I am turning 50 on 5 July 2024. And instead of being nervous, depressed or scared, I am absolutely overjoyed, excited and grateful. And since in the past few years, my work has been all about life-lessons, I started wondering about what I’ve learned in 50 years. As it turns out - a lot.  Allow me to celebrate with you by sharing my 50 in 50!  

50 lessons I’ve learned in 50 years

1.     Better be sorry than safe. The worst regret is not having tried.

2.     Joy is the biggest present we can give the world. Find joy in small things: bird song, sunshine, blue sky, a moment of peace, a child’s smile, a great cup of tea. The world is full of magic, you just have to recognize it.

3.     Health is fragile, never take it for granted. Be aware of it and grateful for it.

4.     Aging is a luxury. My grandmother died at 32 and my grandfather at 51. They would have loved having wrinkles and saggy skin!

5.     Learn to trust your guts.

6.     You can’t fool people. They feel who (and what) is real. They have asshole detectors.

7.     Happiness and fulfilment don’t come from the outside. Not from a career, achievements, money, recognition, status or things. Finding your joy and giving it to the world is the true fulfillment.

8.     We are stronger than we think.

9.     Women are stronger than we think. It’s actually strong women who run families, situations, people – even if it doesn’t seem like it. We just have to learn to also run the world.

10.  When things aren’t right change them.

11.  Burnout is often a spiritual experience. Use it to allow change both within you, and around you. It can lead to your re-birth. You can become a truer – and thus happier - version of yourself.

12.  Don’t judge people. You never really understand their whole picture. And if you did, you wouldn’t be judging them. (There are occasional assholes, and you’re welcome to judge them.). Don’t envy. It’s never as good it seems.

13.  Don’t give unsolicited advice. When you give advice, people feel judged. The best way you can support is to just show up and listen.

14.  Things happen on a different level. What we see is just puppet theater. Try to see through it, to understand what is really going on. It will make it easier to deal with people and situations.

15.  Do it messy. But do it. Perfectionism is self-boycotting.

16.  Allow your body to heal. It has amazing healing powers. Accept the dis-ease, show up for it, understand its psychological roots, and give your body and mind the love, support, peace and care they need to heal. Often, we just need a break.

17.  You are your biggest anker. Your most important friend. Get to know yourself, get in touch with yourself, create a bond with yourself. Enjoy your own company. Only you can really help yourself and be there for yourself. It’s not the job for people around you.

18.  Meditate. Start small. Sit still for a few minutes and try to find yourself behind the veil of thoughts. (Remember: you are not your thoughts.). Learn the magic of stillness. Multitasking is not cool. Practice consciousness because that’s where joy hides.

19.  Being in a war taught me how easy it is to manipulate people’s negative emotions. Rage and hatred are easy to fuel. They are cheap emotions. Don’t give into them.

20.  Don’t divide. Unite. Dividing is easy. If you can’t unite, stay away.

21.  During my burnout, I read a graffiti saying: “If you’re a banana, don’t try being an apple.” It had an immense impact on my healing. Pain comes from trying to be something you’re not.

22.  You’re never done evolving. That being said, sometimes it’s important to have arrived. To enjoy your achievement, the moment, what is. We all need a break sometimes.

23.  Feed your spirit. Whatever that means for you. For me, it’s meditating, moments of solitude, art, creativity, nature, reading, exercise, swimming, or a cup of tea.

24.  Connect to your body. Don’t take it for granted. Love it, take care of it, be grateful for it, give it what it needs. Otherwise it will break down.

25.  Connect to nature. It’s our womb, it’s who we are, where we come from. We need it for our wellbeing.

26.  You are amazing the way you are. You are a gift to the world. Keep giving.

27.  You can do whatever you want. But you have to try, to work hard and be persistent.

28.  Breathe. Connect to your breath. Learn the immense power it has on our wellbeing.

29.  I’ve learned from my mom that the most important thing we leave behind is how we touched human hearts. You had a successful life if people miss you. If you left their hearts full of you.

30.  Find a balance between giving and receiving, taking care of others and of yourself. Don’t try buying love through sacrifice. It doesn’t work.

31.  Your friends are your safety net. Cherish them. Just like marriages, friendships are work, invest into them.

32.  Prepare for old age. Take care of your body. Stay physically and mentally active. Find a hobby (a passion) you can keep doing when you’re old. Create a social structure that will stay there when you’re old (bridge group, tai-chi group, hiking group?)

33.  Celebrate! Celebrate whatever and whenever you can. It can be small: sometimes I celebrate by treating myself with a glass of champagne and a piece of cake. Life needs to know you’re acknowledging good times, so it can send more of it your way.

34.  Do it all when you’re young. Try it all. Work hard. Move countries. Do different jobs. Date different people. Party hard. Try different sports. Travel. Enjoy your youth!

35.  When someone punches you, punch back. Three times as hard. Don’t allow anyone to bully you. Anyone.

36.  Courage is always awarded.

37.  Learn that everything is built step-by-step, piece by piece. I wish I accepted that earlier. Start small – that allows a space to grow and doesn’t drain too much energy.

38.  Accept that life comes in phases. Especially a woman’s life. There’s a time for fun, for hard work and exploration, time for family and home, time for your inner work. It can’t all happen at the same time.

39.  Change is inevitable. Nothing is forever. This too shall pass.

40.  One day your mother will be gone. Learn to mother yourself. To give yourself the care, love, support, patience, embraces, encouragement and understanding an ideal mother would. You have the divine mother inside of you, you just have to find her.

41.  Trust and allow. Insisting too much and pushing too hard will create a block which will prevent things that should happen from happening. (But this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a goal and gently steer in that direction).

42.  Loving is connecting with an open heart. Listening might be the greatest act of love.

43.  Signs are all around us. Read them.

44.  Regret is a waste. Don’t dwell on it. There’s an old saying: “What is done is done well.” It all has its reasons.

45.  Connect with people. They are a gift. Learn from them - they have a lot to teach you.

46.  Create. Whatever shape and form. Preparing a great meal is an act of creativity.

47.  Be humble. It’s the true greatness.

48.  Accept and respect your ancestors. They did the best to their abilities. You wouldn’t be here without them.

49.  Smile. It’s an instant relaxant. And it opens doors.

50.  It’s never too late. For a new career, new success, new experiences, new love, new life. The best is yet to come.

51. (I just had to smuggle this in!) It’s an amazing privilege and a gift to turn 50!